The Hole In the Wall Wang

(BBC Link)

Apparently Nina Wang left her billions to her Feng Shui advisor... because he respects his philosophy. This is more hilarious than Sri Sri Ravishankar's patent for breathing ... How this Mr. Chan will use this is not exactly clear. I can just imagine this conversation in July 2002.

Chan: ... so you see, Feng Shui is not just about aesthetics. It is also about strong will power.

Nina: And how does this strong will power work?

Chan: You write a will, giving me the power, and I will make you strong.

Nina: But isn't that stupid of me?

Chan: No my dear daughter, you are here to learn my feng-shui philosophy. And my philosophy is so simple, and clear that it flies in the face of logic. It also says, wills are meant to be written, not talked about. So you need to be silent and patient. To provide a good reason to the press, appear reclusive. Helps your (insert feng-shui term here) too.

Nina: What I meant was.. won't I lose my money?

Chan: That is where feng-shui philosophy comes in. Instead of letting it lose your strong will power, I will guard it to give it back to you in your next life.

Nina: What if you spend it?

Chan: Irukkardhu illamayum irukkalaam. Illadhadhu irukkavum irukkalaam. Irukkardhum illadhadhum yaar kaiyil irukku? aaga irukkarche...

Nina: Ok..ok... I will change my will..

Apparently, an 'alternate' will has also surfaced, where Nina wants her money to go towards setting up a Nobel-like award system (I say, decide girl!..science or palm-reading?). The two groups could probably work out an arrangement towards an award system for the best contributions towards predictional-'sciences'. This will include crystal gazing, palm reading, numerology and what not. ( I hear gypsies somewhere going "Yahoo!!")

The first prize will be given in 2008, when the planets' straight line orientation will allow artificial gravity situations on Earth, allowing people jumping up at a certain precise time to feel a 'floating feeling'. The awards will start with a screening of the 'Number 23'. With Sri Sri Ravishankar and David Blaine judging, it will be a nail biting race to the finish as the best-in-the-world swamis, hippies, soothsayers, gypsies and Robin Sharma come together in the ring for a 20-man Royal Mumble. (Robin Sharma is forbidden from using his head as an additional crystal ball. Thats an unfair advantage)

"And the Wang for the best pig-entrails soothsaying goes to ..."
I wonder if Martha Stewards would agree to emcee.